Task 1a: Professional Profile - Second Draft

After completing task 1a I was concerned that my profile was too long and today set about trying to slim it down, but couldn't do it!
I tried reading it from every angle, imagining how it would read for a variety of different people, but I just couldn't reduce it any further! I feel like every bit of information in there is absolutely relevant.

In the end I settled for simply tweaking it. I noticed the phrase "couldn't believe my luck" was used twice and in close proximity of one another, so deleted one and reworked the sentence. I performed other similar little tweaks, but for the most part the piece stayed the same and I'm happy with it.

However, I would love and welcome anybodies input! In your opinion, is it still too long? Is there anything you think I should change? Am I obsessing over this task way too much and should I just get on with other tasks? These are the questions I would love you to answer!

Here it is:

 Task 1a: Professional Profile

Task 1a: Professional Profile - First Draft

Here is my first draft of my Professional Profile. My aim was to communicate my professional achievements and goals whilst still maintaining a personal quality. As a teacher, I want readers to feel that they have learnt about me as a person as well as a professional, as I feel that personal connection with students and parents is crucial in teaching children. Let me know what you think and how I could improve on this first draft. I welcome any comments!!!